The Stream and The Flow Of Life

Why I bother so much?

2011-12-21T23:26:00.002+08:00

I never belonged to any circle right from the beginning, not even in the future. So why I care so much of wanting to be in THEIR circle?

到最后，还不是一样？

2011-11-27T02:43:00.001+08:00

是不是，到最后，还不是你们讨论？我说我随大众，我怎样都可以，可是到最后你们又改来改去，然后？还不是你们这几个讨论，没约我一起讨论，还说我不找他们讨论。我是让一步，说是我的错，但是并不代表真正是我的错。我有顾虑你们的感受，但你们有顾虑我的感受吗？真奇怪，我做了什么事要你们来对我责怪？希望你们怪其他人时先想想自己，有没有资格怪其他人。

Am I?

2011-10-23T22:02:00.002+08:00

Hmm...seems like I look more "energetic" to the others, despite that I have lots of things coming up in my mind. Do I really good in concealing my actual feeling?

Just What You Want Me To Do?

2011-09-20T17:11:00.002+08:00

All I want is a peace of mind to do my own stuff, to concentrate on my stuff, so that I wouldn't drag anyone down or disappointed anyone. Is it really hard? Am I just a 'tool' to the others?

You never know how I felt for not having own transportation at a time like this, or maybe you know, but you choose to ignore it. I not like others, who have friends willingly to pick you up. I not like others, having your own transportation to do their stuff. I not like others, who have friends or spouse sharing burdens together. Why do I have to carry others' burdens while carrying own burdens despite that others don't even care for my feeling even once? Just what you want me to do?

Return of Another Self

2011-09-15T23:12:00.000+08:00

Today I read across someone's blog.

It makes me remembered some story centuries ago. I feel really disappointed with my life. Anybody, anything, I am really getting fed up with everything already. "Why you find me for help?" and all this external comfort. When I am helpless the most, I just being abandoned only, instead of being helped, and that happening to me even now. So now, why I bother to ask for help? Due to the fact that I have the worst luck, useless guy, stupid and idiot guy, who cares to help me? They just being selfish and only help if it brings benefit or merit to them. That's what I had in thought many years until now. And in fact, my life shows me that my thought is correct and never been wrong even until now.

I would have to seek revenge since years ago, against everyone in the world who make me feel so betrayed. Yet, I do believe, and agree that revenge will not solve anything, and only bring pain to the others and yourself. That is why I haven't thought of revenging, well maybe I do during my previous time. But I still can't forget how others did to me before, and I hold a deep grudge against it even now actually. However, holding grudge is one thing, but I still never ignored somebody who is in trouble or need help. Something wrong with me or am I contradicting myself? Well, not my business anyway. I just do what I want to do and what I think is the right way to do.

Well, what I want to tell that someone who I had read his blog:
"Hey man, you do have a kinda bad life. Life can be so harsh. However, I do not wish u to be like me, who had finally come to hate everybody, everything and even the world itself. There is no reason for you to be that suffered just like me. One person suffered is enough. You still have something that is important to you actually, just that you never realized it. I do not what words can be given to you to ease your pain now. But I wish you to be strong, and don't be a person like me."

P/S: This is to make clear that this post is solely my own thought and opinion.

Busy Day

2011-08-24T18:26:00.001+08:00

This day marks the coolest day I ever had!!!!! xD

What Kind Of Life Should I Live On?

2010-12-30T23:58:00.000+08:00

有苦说不出口，我做人真的做到很累了...我已经哪里都不属于了...

2010-07-22T16:48:00.002+08:00

做人：人每个人都会写，但是人你懂得做吗？

2010-05-26T01:02:00.001+08:00

无论如何，到最后我只能做坏人的角色。我有选择的余地吗？敢问曾经就那么一次站在我的立场上着想过吗？有没有想过我的感受？朋友何必做到这种地步？还是说，只有我是例外的？或则说，我在朋友的眼里是否就如此而已？

A Long-Time-No-See Update...

2010-03-17T21:45:00.003+08:00

Hi there, sorry for keeping my blog not updated since this is not my style to do so. So since now I got so much free time and still feel don't want to sleep, I guess I will write something here for now.

What I had been doing this 3 months after my final last year? Well since I didn't managed to get the practical jobs on time, so I become 'God' at home (although I helped in my parentss shop in the morning). Actually, many things happened on my side and sometimes I even remembered something that actually I don't want to remember. Haha, I feel like I'm pathetic.

Let's just get to the main point, one day in December, a friend of mine invite me to play paintball with his group of friends. Well, of course I would agree since I never played paintball before and my other friend is coming back to Kuching from Korea. And for the following one week, I have been cancelling my schedule because I thought we would go play paintball that week. Well, it turns out no news from them. So after that week, I have been doing my own things, go limteh with friends and so on. And approximately after a month at night, they give me a call, asking me to go out play paintball at 31/12/2009. But since another group of friends have booked me so I will have to rejected them without any choice. You know what they do? They just scold me, and say I forget them or so what blah blah blah. A month ago from now, a friend from that group find me via msn, asking me know that my friend(the one who go to Korea study) went back to Korea already? I said I don't know, since you never said to me. Then he say I forget them, didn't care for them and so on. I want to make a clear about this:

Don't think of my time is all yours. I have my own right on how to spend my own time. I have been busying with my own things. If you think I the type who forget friends, go ahead. If you can say:"You didn't care for us, put u aside, didn't called you etc", then why don't you do that? You spend all the day going out with other friends, spend all the day gaming, I didn't say a thing about that, and instead you said to me like this? And some more, I have been lost contact with others also, and they didn't even complain that. You guys should had know me well since secondary school, but still want complain me. Haiz...you guys really make me disappointed. That's the biggest mistake you guys have done to me.

Recently, from my previous semester onwards, my friends is disappearing one by one, since they are furthering their studies at overseas. I kinda envy them actually, for able to further study at overseas. I want to do that also, but since I have been playing during my studies which make my CGPA the lowest among my foundation january batch friends and finiancial problem as well, I am not able to further studies for now. Well, I already promise myself to get better result to improve my CGPA. I don't want to mess up my honour subject already. But....this semester I have 4 honour subjects, am I going to die soon? Wouldn't ba? Haha...

This year, actually, is better than last year. Last year is like a disaster to me actually. @.@ This year, many people getting married, and many people(actually mostly is my friends =x) go into a relationship already. Haha, so for them, wish them have a good relationship. Actually my relatives, my friends also keep asking me, when are you going to find a girlfriend? what type of girls do you like? when are you going to introduce your girlfriend to them? which girl are you interested among them? Actually, I just keep my mouth shut and pretend didn't hear that. Haha that's the probably best tactics I could find =x. Anyway, for those who want an answer, I will tell you here, I will not going to do that, I not even worth a guy to date a girl. I will not be stopping anyone to find your couple, but I wouldn't going to do that, or should I say, people like me are not worth to find a girlfriend.

This year, I also changed my laptop already. My Dell Inspiron 6400 still working perfectly though, but I give it to my mum for office uses. Now I am using Acer Aspire 4740G. It's actually serve me well. The truth is, I have been despising Acer, but since my friend said that Acer have been improving, so I bought it. This laptop uses Intel i5 processor, NVIDIA graphics 310M, 2GB DDR3 RAM, with built-in webcam, mic, as well as fingerprint sensor, for only RM2499. So cheap. Haha =x. Well it doesn't surprise me since Acer value for money. Haha...

This year, I really hope it is a good year for me. Despair had been flowing to me due to my problem with some friends for past few months. When I remember it, I kinda feel upset. Well, I always pretend to be a clown to keep my friends lively and happy. But when I feel upset or depressed, I either hid myself, or just listen to some music. Actually I have been giving up trusting people actually. But I would help them if they need help though. Why hor? I really don't know. Maybe I just feel like helping them, even though no merit or advantages to me? Haha...must be thinking I crazy bah. Well I never say I am normal from the start though. Haha xD

I think that's all for now. I should keep myself motivated during this semester. @.@

Study Mode On!!

2009-10-25T15:17:00.001+08:00

Now is week 11. So I'm gonna have to turn on my study mode liao. Tomorrow will be the starting day on my study mode. Aim for HD!!! Roar~~~ xD

Wondering.....

2009-06-14T20:43:00.003+08:00

Just wondering, what would you do whenever you in pitch situation, especially when the final examination is so near?

Hmm.............................................

I'm In Ban Kai Mode Now...

2009-05-24T18:15:00.002+08:00

Ban-Kai, Senkei Sebonzakura Kageyoshi!!!

Here I come, Final Exam!!!

Kinda depress now....

2009-05-07T12:03:00.002+08:00

Haiz.....Such a misfortune....

A Truly Touching Song Here.....

2009-04-13T12:04:00.002+08:00

Recently, I'm been listening to music and I found that I find one song which I find it very touching. It's 我知道 by BY2. I will try upload the mp3 link. Until then, enjoy listening~~~......

*MP3 LINK*=http://tg5.acoly.cn/musiclist/2009/0410/BY2/4.wma

by2 - 我知道

作词:于萱作曲:于萱

从来没想过不能再和你牵手
委屈时候没有你陪着我心痛
一切都是我太过骄纵以为你会懂
一直忘了说我有多感动

我知道你还是爱着我
虽然分开的理由我们都已接受
你知道我会有多难过
所以即使到最后还微笑着要我加油
我知道你还放不下我
才会在离开时闭着眼没有回头
我们都知道彼此心中
其实这份爱没停过

从来没想过不能再和你牵手
委屈时候没有你陪着我心痛
一切都是我太过娇纵以为你会懂
一直忘了说我有多感动

我知道你还是爱着我
虽然分开的理由我们都已接受
你知道我会有多难过
所以即使到最后还微笑着要我加油
我知道你还放不下我
才会在离开时闭着眼没有回头
我们都知道彼此心中
其实这份爱没停过

曾经完整幸福的梦在脑海里头
我多希望你还在我左右

我知道你还是爱着我
虽然分开的理由我们都已接受
你知道我会有多难过
所以即使到最后还微笑着要我加油
我知道你还放不下我
才会在离开时闭着眼没有回头
答应你我会好好过
不让这些眼泪白流

Finally Have A Nicer Layout....

2009-04-13T12:00:00.002+08:00

Yo there, finally I had my blog layout changed and thus I reset the permission so that anyone can view my update soon. Stay tune~~~^_^....

Chinese New Year - Day 1

2009-01-27T00:25:00.005+08:00

The first day of Chinese New Year, as my parents went traveling on 26/1/2009 to China. So we didn't visit any relative house this year. I sent my parents to airport around 10.30am. After that, I went home and....sleep until 1.00am like that (=.=" first day Chinese New Year already went to sleep liao) since I was waked up by a call from my friend, Chiang Lung.

He asked me to booked a room at Red Coliseum which is near 101 Premier to sing karaoke at 2pm-6pm. Since Winnie didn't drive the car, I fetched Chiang Lung and went to Bau to fetch her up. After that, we went back to pick up Kenny and Yee Chen and arrived at Coliseum at 4pm. We sang from 4pm-7pm which we extended an extra hour. The environment at there is not bad, but the sound system might be losing to Enter K and PopWave. Anyway, it's better than nothing since PopWave didn't open today and Enter K only have the the package at 8pm till midnight.

This is the outside of the Red Coliseum. Not bad huh?

The inner part of the Coliseum. Still okay for me. Haha.......

From the left: Yee Chen, Winnie, Chiang Lung and Kenny.(Where is me??? Down here la)

From the left: Yee Chen, Winnie, Chiang Lung and me =P.

In the end we paid.....RM27 gua?(RM20 for 2pm to 6pm + RM3.50/30mins x 2). After that, we sent Yee Chen home and had dinner at 3rd Mile McDonald. But I was too lazy to take photo so...don't care liao la. Haha......=.=. After that, we sent Winnie home, and while after reached Kenny's house, nobody opened the door even I used horn. (What the heck? Nobody at home and didn't bring spare key due to only got two spare keys =.=" Ask the people to duplicate the key lor :P). Then we hang out at 101 Premier a while then we went home liao. Buh....That's kinda boring at night, cause I was thinking of playing Yu-Gi-Oh to spend the night. Ah.....Whatever......Haha....I think that's it for my first day. Thanks for reading. Buh...:P

P/S: Oh ya, except the group photos, I think the photos credit goes to www.jimmychin.net since the photo owner is him which I get it through http://www.sarawakian.net/2008/12/28/red-coliseum-karaoke/.

What A Big Work For Me Today.....

2009-01-23T18:04:00.003+08:00

Whoa...It took "a million years" just to change the layout of this blog. Not only that, after the layout changed, I needed to relink my friends back. I hope I did link most of them back. So tiring....LOL!!

While I want to say sorry for not updating my blog due to my laziness (as well as not to update since this blog may had been declared dead), I'm more than satisfied for my results in my last semester. I got:

P for Mechanics of Structure
D for Robotics & Mechatronics Project 2
P for Electronic System
D for Engineering Mathematics 2

A D for my EM2? I thought it was impossible from the start. Haha..... Anyway, thanks to my result, I was able to change my hand phone to a more decent one, K770i (A lot better than my previous Nokia 2600 classic in summary, haha...) Hope my hand phone wouldn't lost in less than 1 week like my K810i that time =.=.

*************************************************************************************
This holidays, mostly I can say, I do nothing =.=. Due to the fact that more and more company start to fire people, I was unable to find a decent job after going to Damai. Play game? I don't think so. I play game until feel bored, and not even have a friend to play together with me. I played MapleStory and DotA once in a while, but guess that wouldn't keep me to continue playing for long. So in the end, I ended up dreaming here and there, waiting for something to happen =P. If my friend invite me then I will go out, but if not, I guess I will be rotting at home LOL.....

Oh yeah, recently my internet ended up so slow. But I feel so lazy to continue complaining them countless time. Due to that, my pet in FaceBook is going to die soon cause can't even load the application. Buh Streamyx!!!! Haha...

*************************************************************************************
A word to:

Jeffrey Wong:

Pal, I'm sorry I couldn't sent you off on the day you departed to Australia. So many things happened on my side and I couldn't manage it at all. I failed as a friend for not being able to sent you off. Anyway, I hope you will live happily at there and thanks for being as my friend until now. I'm truly grateful. Thanks and I hope to see you again ^.^.

Yee Heng:

Wei, last time we met each other is during Christmas Day 2008 hor. How about your GrandChaseSEA? You didn't play liao ar? Haha.....of course I also didn't play liao. Line so lousy nowadays. Haha...When free we play DotA together ar, haha....I did like to hope that my skills didn't go rust so quickly. Haha...^.^.

Ting Chee Ho:

Chee Ho, so you can drive alone liao la. Didn't come fetch me de bo. Haha...Oh ya, when you free come play Yu-Gi-Oh, as well as DotA and Counter-Strike together ar ^.^.

Ken:

Wei, if you keep reformat your computer you really can throw your computer away liao la. I don't even know how your computer affected by virus if you're just playing DotA? Haha....^.^.

Alex:

Alex, the first words that I always said to you, is not "Hi!". Instead, is "Noob!". Haha....Don't know why I want to call you that way hor....Haha...I will call you "Noob!" in the coming semester too. Haha...:P.

Maggie:

Maggie, sorry for not updating my blog ya. I should have update my blog since you told me to do so every time. I bet my previous post made you think I'm unhappy gua? True, but at least not unhappy every time la. I have a bunch of friends such as you. So I don't think I hardly can be unhappy lo since your gang so ki siao one. Haha...Anyway, hope to see you again when you back to Kuching ^.^, and of course, I try update my blog as often as possible, but without guarantee wor....Haha....

YunQii:

YunQii, don't feel sad on your result. I really felt sorry that I shouldn't disturb you by calling you when the result come out cause I never thought you would failed any subjects. But try your best next time, since nothing can be accomplished without trying ^.^.

Lau Yew King:

Here, I would like to express my gratitude to you. If it wasn't for you, I could have failed my Electronic System and I don't think I will be in Swinburne if I failed my subject. Thanks, and I will treat you next time when I'm free ^.^.

Goh Chiang Lung:

Pal, recently really sorry for what I did to you ya. Last year before having final examination, I blamed you for blocking my sights and resulted in car accidents. I've lost tempered that time, didn't even think logically that it was my fault for the car accident actually. Instead, I blamed and scolded you. But, you didn't blame me for it, and I was too happy till crying that time and we are good friend as usual. But what I never thought is, I would do something that someone done it to me before. Sorry, I did like to say I didn't mean it. But judge from my action, I would say it's too much and looks like the opposite. But thanks for not blaming me again, instead you will cared for me as a friend. I thank you from the bottom of my heart ^.^.

Kenny Fuh:

Woah, your skill in Yu-Gi-Oh, without doubt, too good for me liao. One careless mistake and I will lost. Haha...And about your SMS that time, I really wan to hit you if you were beside me that time, and here I thought why would I fell into this kind of trap so easily =.=.

Jordan Tan:

Hmm....about 11 days you have to fly to Kuala Lumpur hor? Hope you live well at there after you stay at Kuala Lumpur. Haha ^.^.

Winnie:

Personally, I think I'm a bad friend after all. When I'm trying my best not to do something too excessive, I'm doing just the opposite in the end. Haha....but thanks for still accepting me thought. I'm really grateful ^.^.

Alvin Yong:

How had you been now? I hope you fine as always. Hope you continue do well in New Zealand as well ^.^.

Paul Dylan and Ting See Yun:

Eh, I want to say sorry about the day my car trapped into mud and dragged you guys into it. Hehe...I did hope I was the first one to arrive, but in the end we are the last one to arrive. Haha :P.

Others such as Adrian Yao, Chai Siaw Yin, Chung Chin Fong etc.:

Yay, glad that we all had passed the subjects!! Let's try our best in the coming semester too ^.^!!

*************************************************************************************

3 more days, and it's Chinese New Year! Wa....The first thing in my mind is.....ANGPAU, RED PACK. Too bad I don't think I will have it this year. I want T.T. Sad....Haha....

And lastly, although it's still early, but at least let me say it: HAPPY CHINESE NEW YEAR 2009!!! ^.^

Resigned Until Further Notice

2009-01-12T15:54:00.000+08:00

So Pathetic.....Haiz....

2008-12-07T23:03:00.006+08:00

Why all my friends around me so pathetic? Why all my friends like to simply conclude things on their own? Why all my friends like act like "happy when you make other sad, but angry if the opposite thing happened"?

Today is my most pathetic day for me. I never been through all this before. You want to know what's going on? Then I will tell you here:

At 7.37am, 37 minutes after I halfly awake, one of my friends sent this sms to me:

"Yo, tmr u bring laptop ma? If u dont bring then me, ****, and **** dont want go damai oh.....Coz impossible want play uno nia so boring......Can la, bring laptop le......We got one laptop liao......"

Wei, common sense, if you get this kind of sms with you only half awakened some more, you would get angry right? And what's more, this is a THREATENING MESSAGE, OK!!!! I let my other friends see the message and they agreed with me as well. You know what I thinking when I first see this message? "Shit, threaten me like that, at worst I don't go damai la." Hey, if you just joking only at least put "jk" at the back of your sms. This is not funny at all. I never been threatened like this before. You can say me 玩不起, 小气, but let me tell you at least, your joke is too big for me and I can't take it like this without first telling me you're joking ok???

And at night, I keep calling my secondary school friend who owned me money. He who claimed that he would find me after having STPM, telling my friends this as well. But what he do? He didn't find me. In the end, I need to call him myself using 2 of my handphones since he keep avoiding me. And at the same time, he (the one who sent me sms in the morning) asked me can pick him or not tomorrow morning? Since I keep calling my secondary school friend, I never able to reply him. And he thought I still angry with him, and claimed that he understand liao and will walk to school himself. CRAP, you never heard my explanation, and never answer my call just now, and YOU SIMPLY MADE A CONCLUSION FOR YOURSELF.

You know what the things that happened today means to me? It's just like you threaten people and didn't notified him/her that you joking at first, then when misunderstanding happened, he/she has to apologize to you like a dog, begging for forgiveness. DAMN, I didn't do anything wrong, and why would I need to keep apologize and find a chance to explain everthing to you? I thought of you as my good friend, but it turns out you are the one who deceived me in the end. I still have my pride as well, not only you. I NOT BORN TO BE BULLIED BY ANYONE!!! I still have my pride as a human, and I still have my right as a human as well.

The way you are now, made me want to say you are pathetic. I want everything to end peacefully, and yet you the one who always simply made conclusion always give me the big headache. If it isn't because she hopes to go to damai to have fun, if it isn't because because we paid the room fee already, if it isn't she ask me to bear with it, I DID WANT TO CANCEL THE TRIP TO DAMAI!!! Man, I already have enough. If you want continue to misunderstand further, GO AHEAD. And I lazy to explain anything further. No one understand me. To others, I am meant to be a tool to be "used" by others. While I try my best to make others happy, while I try my best to do what my friend ask me to do, while I try my best to help when my friends need my help, while I try my best to comfort my friend when he or she sad, EVEN I opposed my parents over my friends, why I had to do everything on my own, I have to bear my own sadness, and I have to bear every single bad things that happened to me BY MYSELF? Tell me, where did I do wrong?

If you, who read this, still want to act this way, then sorry. I don't want explain anything further. I should never trust anyone from the start for I already no best friend to begin with. It will be good if everything turns back to normal. But if it turned up to be break up, I guess I don't have a choice if he/she choose so. I just give you the choice, everyone of my friend, to continue or to break up, it's your choice. I let you choose.

P/S: If possible please don't ask me what happened, I really getting annoyed over this already. So please refrain from asking question related to this. I would gladly appreciated if you could do so. Thank you.

Tagged?

2008-10-14T11:28:00.003+08:00

Seems I tagged by Siaw Yin, huh? Guess I have to give her face then. >.<

A N S W E R - T R U T H F U L L Y
1. Do you like anyone?
~No comment on this. Recently just find out I hate myself more.

2. Do they know it?
~I rather don't want anyone to know it.

3. Simple or complicated?
~Simple, of course

IN - T H E - L A S T - M O N T H - H A V E - Y O U
4. Bought something:
~Yeah, then bankrapt straight after that.

5. Gotten sick?
~Yeah.

.6. Been hugged?
~No.

7. Felt stupid?
~Always, and until now.

8. Talked to an ex
~Swt, I don't have ex here.

9. Missed someone
~Hmm...Rather don't miss anyone. Make things complicated to me only.

10. Failed a test
~Hate to admit it, but I do fail more than 1 test this semester.

11. Danced
~ No.

12. Gotten your hair cut?
~ Yeah, it's not like i want to keep my hair long.

13. Lied
~ Yeah, in a situation where I must lie.

U N I Q U E
14. Nervous habits?
~Want to go on diet? Is that habit unique enough?

15. Are you double jointed?
~ I'll pass that, what do you mean by double jointed?

16. Can you roll your tongue?
~ No.

17. Can you raise one eyebrow?
~ Not really.

18. Can you cross your eyes?
~I not a anime or cartoon character, how can I cross my eyes? >.<

19. Do you make your bed daily?
~Yeah, sleep at 9pm most of the time

20. Do you think you are unique?
~Hmm...Maybe

H A V E - Y O U - E V E R'S
21. Said "I Love you"
~No.

22. Given money to a homeless person
~Sometimes

23. Smoked?
~No.

24. Waited all night for a phone call?
~No.

25. Snuck out?
~Swt, for what?

26. Sat and looked at the stars?
~Nope, but would like to do it once.

M A N N E R S
27. Do you swear/curse?
~Used to. Now never.

28. Do you ever spit?
~ Yeah.

29. You cook your own food?
~No.

30. You do your own chores?
~ Sometimes

31. You like beef jerky?
~ As long as it delicious, anything will do.

32. You're happy with your life?
~ Nope.

33. You own a dog?
~Got 2 dogs at my home.

34. You spend your money wisely?
~ Tried to. But the situation make me spend money unwisely.

35. Do you like to swim?
~No.

36. When you get bored do you call a friend
~No.

D O - Y O U - P R E F E R'S
37. Flowers or angels?
~Neither of them.

38. Gray or black?
~Black

39. Color or black and white photos?
~ Color.

40. Lust or love?
~No comment.

41. Sunrise or sunset?
~Sunset.

42. M&Ms or Skittles?
~ It doesn't matter to me.

43. Staying up late or waking up early?
~ Waking up early.

44. Being hot or cold?
~ I'll pass that.

45. Winter or Fall?
~ Winter

46. Left or right?
~What the difference between left and right?

47. Having 10 acquaintances or 2 best friends?
~ Neither.

48. Sunshine or rain?
~Rain

M O R E-H A V E-Y O U-E V E R'S
49. Been Dumped?
~Sometimes.

50. Stolen money from a friend?
~No.

51. Been in a fist fight?
~Yeah.

52. Snuck out of your house?
~ Like I said before, for what?

53. Had a crush on a teacher?
~Used to.

54. Seen someone die?
~ Yeah, please don't ask this kind of question next time.

55. Been on an airplane?
~ Yeah

56. Slept all day?
~ No. The latest I wake is 8am.

57. Missed someone so much it hurt?
~ No. Rather not to miss someone.

58. Fallen asleep during school?
~ No.

59. Been lonely?
~All the time, or should I say most of the time.

60. Cheated in a game?
~Used to.

61. Been to the ER?
~What the hell is that?

62. Been in a car accident?
~Yeah.

63. Had detention?
~ No.

64. Missed your first love?
~No. I'm not planning to have that kind of thing.

65. Cried yourself to sleep?
~Hate to admit it, but it did happened.

66. Sung in the shower?
~ No.

67. Kissed a complete stranger?
~*Speechless* -.-"

68. Laughed so hard you cried?
~Sometimes

69. Cheated on a bf/gf?
~I'm not planning to have that kind of thing.

70. Regretted hurting someone?
~Yeah. But it's for their own good.

71. Regretted loving someone?
~I hate repeating same segment of the question.

I tagged:
1.Maggie
2.Paul Dylan
3.Kenneth Wong
4.CheePutt
5.Xiao Nan Hai
6. Jeffrey Wong

That's all for now, I think....

Is This Consider An Update???

2008-10-06T15:43:00.003+08:00

Eh...Is this suppose to be an update on blog? I busy with my study yet they ask me for an update. I don't have any plan right now. So, maybe I write a few words....

这个学期，我发现......................................................................................................................................

Maggie很.......C........U........T...........E..........C.U.T.E(哇，几累一下叻。要写C,U,T,E都很难一下。哈哈哈哈哈。）
Chee Ho a.k.a CheePutt, 你最近是不是发神经？总觉得你越cute越神经,越危险。哈哈哈........
Yee Heng a.k.a YeePutt, 你若不赶快正常点，接下来是你变成小妹妹咯。哈哈哈哈哈.......
Zai Wei, 你很幸福叻，很多人喜欢小妹妹的。哈哈哈哈....
To Be Continued....(对不起，总觉得不好笑。) ^.^"

Who want some certain people's name to be listed here tell me, especially if you want to know about them so much. Lol.......

Yoyo....I'm Back!!!

2008-05-27T21:13:00.002+08:00

Hehe, sorry for not being able to update my blog recently. Seems this situation will go on longer a bit since final exam is coming soon......

You want ask why I didn't update my blog for so long already? Well, I should say thanks to the Programming subject, make my life the worst all the time....=.=....It's really like a doom to me this semester......Haha....Anyway, my friends always helped me a lot whenever I needed it. Thanks everyone :D.

Hmmm, during this semester, I hang up with my......"DotA and CS" gang? =.=" Catch no ball anyway. Haha...That's the way how I release my loaded stress(=.= You want fail more is it??). Anyway, my gang....got Tshi Suen, YunQii, Billy, Alvin Sek, Chee Ho, Bryan (got 2 Bryan =.=), Jeffrey Wong, Khing Vui and Yee Heng. Sometime I learnt DotA from Melvin (this guy really so pro until I don't know what to say =.=). I planned train my DotA skills after my final exam. Bye Bye to You Soon, Final EXAM!!! :P

Actually, I also have difficulties (Short of Money). Due to certain reason, I helped him paid off something then which make me bankrap all the time 1 month ago and I still need to hang on until final without money....What the heck.....No next time dude =.=......Lazy to say you anyway, since you never really know what do I mean when I'm trying to make you awake by scolding you....

And, during the time when I was abaddoned this blog for a while, I lost my 019 handphone twice. One is about 1.5 month ago and recently last Saturday my K810i is stolen. That day I was really depressed a lot. Don't know what to do, don't know how should I tell anyone about it, even I lost my precious watch which cost Rm600-Rm700. I so pathetics......Haiz....So, please find me by contacting me by Digi number. Those who don't have need to tell me so that I can give you the number.

After final exam, my friends have lots of program to go on. One of my best friends is coming back at the mid of June. Happy to heard it. My another best friend told me to go Damai together at 20 and 21 of June. Well, I told her I will think about it. But....Hehe, guess I will have to reject it, since I'm still bankrap and I don't even want to go out anymore. I was pathetic last time.....

But I should thanks to her, since her gang still help me celebrating my birthday on 21th May, even they are busy with their studies. What a nice trick they give me that morning =.=. And thanks to Siaw Yin, Chin Fong, Amber, Wan Chen, Han Chen, Eric, and also my gangs who send me a message of birthday. Thanks...That day was quite plain anyway. And since everyone is busy with their studies, I spent that day by playing DotA whole night....Haha....I still remember I still lost teribbly....XD...

When there is a day where we can meet, there's also a day where we have to separate away from each other. Since I have left my club for almost half year, many things have changedI have turned into a guy who knows only playing game and learnt nothing from his studies (maybe I hang up with them too often). Nevermind anyway, I get used to spent another sad day by my own for now....

Oh ya, between, since my final examination is coming soon, don't expect me to update daily. I still want to pass my degree you know?? lol...Bye Bye, See You Later. :P

Tears.............

2008-03-16T13:05:00.002+08:00

Today, I just.....feel I was and helpless and hopeless. I thought I was able to make it through everything, and as to pretend as if nothing happened right in front of me. But then,.....let just say in academic aspect, I was supposed to do the 12.4 Tutorial Exercise for Engineering Mathematics 1. But then, since I don have the Calculus book, I cannot do anything about it. To be honest, I don't quite like certain lecturer. They sound like as if forcing everyone of us to buy the testbooks, and I don't want that kind of attitude and show it to me. But what can I do? A while ago, I was told I would be screwed by lecturer if I don't the tutorial homeworks. All I can tell is, not I don't want to do, is that I don't have money to buy the testbook. And don't ever tell me that get money from parents. What u guys say is easy, but have you guys ever thinking at my side? Have you guys thinking of how parents are suffering while we study? My parents need to pay house fee, pay work place rental fee, and now need to pay our education fee at Swinburne, including my younger brother. What I do now is to try my best to reduce their burden. Although my father always thinking of my side, by letting me have the Volvo he drive, and even repair it, do you think I would happy? I feel sorry for them a lot more than be happy that I finally got car to drive. It is because in the end, it was my father who don't have the car drive, which is not comfortable for him since he need the car to go to works and sometime go out to do business. Since the starting of this year, I planned to reduce their burden, by reducing the use of car, so that they do not need to pay the petrol fee that often. I EVEN SACRIFICE MYSELF TO RESIGNED FROM ALL THE CLUBS I JOINNED! I DIDN'T QUIT FOR NOTHING!!!! After all, all my plans are in vain also. Why? I feel helpless now.....If let say tomorrow I'm being screwed up by the lecturer and in the end I failed my subject, I GONNA QUIT SWINBURNE AND GO TO WORK. Like that I can save a lot of money for parents by cutting the my education fee!!!! I really hate myself now.....In the end, I ended up as a useless guys as before......For this very 1st time, my tears flow that I couldn't stopped it........

2008.......

2008-03-05T19:53:00.002+08:00

I was wondering just now, can I go through any obstacles that I faced in 2008, just like in previous year before? This year, is sure a "black" year for me. Why should I keep facing the problems while another problems is not solved yet? What the heck? It seems like everything was going against me in this year. I already had enough problems with my personal problems!! And why now people always give me same type of "problem"???? It's so unfair to me. If you got something to say just say it!! And don't hide it!!! How should people know what are you thinking??? Later when you're backstabing people, don't say people didn't care for you!! If you have doubt about certain people, come and talk to them face to face!!! Only that will solve the problem!!! If just because that "problem" make us break our friendship, then just break it. I had already enough!!! I had lost many precious friends from last year, and I don't want to lost more friendship anymore. If our friendship is broken, it is not my fault who broke it. It's the person who want to throw it away..........

Too Much Suffers For Me.....

2008-03-01T22:01:00.002+08:00

Haiz.....This year I had more than enough unfortunate things to face. I thought I was able to cope with it, but seems I am not really able to do that..........

This year, I can say that I lost.....almost everything. I lost my friends, such as Norman and Michael, and then I also lost my post as Secretary in both Ping Pong Club and Bowling Club. Somehow, I was "forced" to resign from both clubs. Well, it is unusually painful.....and I can't bear with it much, since I liked to join both clubs, and I never regret for joining their club. I'm just regret that I am not able to be in any clubs any longer......

Haiz.....I'm tired, and I don't even know should I continue.....such as, to continue study??Along with family problems, I am not really able to progress in both my studies and my "curriculum" activities (which I had been forced to stop from joining any club for now). What should I do???......=.=.....

Whoa....Somewhat True Also......

2008-02-07T18:11:00.000+08:00

You Are the Ace of Hearts

Youthful and playful, you love life and the world.
You have a kind spirit, and you bring happiness to everyone you know.

Artistic and bold, you see the world in bright colors.
And you certainly aren't afraid to express everything you see and feel.

You are sentimental, and your emotions are very deep.
You are easily swept away and easily hurt.

A gamble you should take: Blackjack

Your friends would describe you as: Unique

Your enemies would describe you as: Weepy

If you lived in Vegas, you would be: An up and coming chef or fashion designer

What Playing Card Are You?

People Like You... Sometimes

You are liked, but only when people are able to overlook your faults.
Deep down, you are a good person, but you definitely have some obnoxious tendencies.
So step back, and try to figure out when people aren't responding to you positively.
A few simple changes could make you a lot better liked!

What People Don't Like About You:

People don't like that you're quite sensitive and easily offended. People feel like they have to watch their words around you.

People don't like that you can't defend your values and beliefs. You seem unreasonably stubborn.

People don't like that you forget them easily. No one wants to be friends with someone who doesn't remember their name!

What People Like About You:

People like that you don't gossip or talk poorly of others. They trust that you will speak positively about them too.

People like that you give them support and strength. Friends know that they can count on you to be there for them.

People like that you take responsibility for your actions and admit your mistakes. They appreciate your maturity.

Do People Like You?

Your Life is 92% Off Track

Okay, so you probably are living the wrong life. But the good news is, you know it.
You ultimately control how good or bad your life is - and it's time to get to work.
Get therapy, dump your significant other, or move across the country. It's time to shake things up.

Are You Living The Wrong Life?

You Mostly Have Your Emotions in Check

Sometimes your emotions get out of control, but you usually are a pretty stable person.
You can find a lot to be happy about, as long as things are going your way.
But if a few bad things happen to you, you tend to go in a bit of a downward spiral.
Luckily, you usually come out of it okay and no worse for the wear.

Can You Keep Your Emotions in Check?

You Are A Loyal Sidekick

While you aren't the most visable one in your group...
You're always up for a good time or conversation
And you stick with your friends no matter what
You may feel underappreciated - but it only seems that way!

What Kind of Friend Are You?

You Can Change Your Life, But It Won't Be Easy

You really, truly want to change. You're just not sure that you can do it.
You need a solid plan, supportive friends, and a strong will.
Think about times you've made hard changes, and what you did to get through them.
A change is in your future - you just need a little help getting started.

Can You Change Your Life?

Your Life is 28% Perfect

So your life isn't exactly perfect, but it's not horrible either.
Things are fairly bad at times... at least they're not likely to get much worse!

How Perfect is Your Life?

Your Depression Level: 92%

You seem to be severely depressed.
You should seek immediate attention from your physician.
Depression can be cured - you just need to take the first step.

Are You Depressed?

Your Attitude is Better than 40% of the Population

You have a positive attitude... somtimes. You prefer to see the world through clear glasses, not rose colored ones.

How's Your Attitude?

My World Is "Counting Down" The Time Unexpectedly Fast....

2008-02-06T11:44:00.000+08:00

It seems the time is flowing much faster than the previous year. Anyway, it's New Year Eve and I wish everyone of my friends Happy Chinese New Year and can get "AngPau" as much as you can (to treat me at the Spring, of course :P). Haha, just kidding......But today sure boring lar, no people to go out with, and all I can do is to stay at home and do nothing. -.-....

Recently, or should I say actually today, I planned to re-register at Friendster. Weird, huh? And thanks to my decision, I need to re-add many many friends again and it took me from 7am until now. =.=....So now, I think every 5 minutes, I will receive mail from Friendster. Lol....Funny isn't it? Well, I personally don't know why I played back Friendster again, but I have the feel that I want to do so. "Do it without knowing any reason", Weird.....=.=....Anyway, thanks to people who re-add me as friends in Friendster, althought I know it's quite annoying sometimes. Haha....I will continue my Friendster part next time. LOL.

Between, in this year, I heard many friends of mine have already engaged, like my old classmate from primary school is the one of them. Good news, eh? I think I have heard of 10+ friends are already engaged le gua? Wakaka...Who knows?? Hehe....For the bad news, I had been heard of friendship problems, which actually doesn't concern me so much, and my own family problems (I don't want to say much on family problems, too tired to explain)=.=. Actually , one of my friend quarrel with someone until they broke thier relationship recently. Maybe they have thier own reason to do so, but for me, it's worthless. I personally think friendship is the most valuable thing, and is the hardest thing to be earned. You may have friends easily, but true friends will not be easy to get it. I've been thinking for days and nights before, is it worth to be broken? But then, I think it's better to be treasured rather than broke it, especially after you had found a true friend. I will my best to help my friends, and make sure they're happy, and not to be hurted by someone. Friend, I say, is better to be treasured rather than you broke it, cause when you broke it, there's no return, like me, who almost lost a best friend, after my stupid decision thing =.=.

Okay then, I post it till here. I wish I could go out and play with friends some more, before I stop driving in 1 week and ....to quit the clubs I had joined all the time. (is it the day after these 7 days is Valentine's Day, Amber????)

Then End of Summer Semester Soon.......

2008-02-01T10:00:00.000+08:00

Phew....Soon, the summer semester is going to end soon. Today is Friday, so we had 1 more week free before we will be having final examination, which is a worst nightmare to me =.=. But.....who cares? As long as I can pass this final examination then it is enough already for me to enter Degree course.

Well, what is the sad thing is, most of us will be separated soon. Even though we may taking the same course, like in Foundation in Engineering, there is no doubt that we will be going to different courses, as we hold different dreams, and different aims. Haiz....I think we have no choice gua sometimes. =.=.....

And what's more, we are having Chinese New Year mood, and yet we are going to sit for final examination straight after Chinese New Year!! =.=...Now I lost my mood lar -.-, no fun at all. Why don't Swinburne let us have a sweet Chinese New Year mood 1st before final exam? -.-....

Well, after final exam, I am thinking of letting go my car, and let my brother drive my Honda Civic. What about me? I'm not driving for that moment lor since I'm tired and don't feel wanna drive any longer. What is the most important thing is, I don't want te quarrel between my bro and me happened just because of transportation. And since he is eager to drive, I'm decide to let him have the Honda Civic. Since I often stayed at home and nothing to do at outside (cause I'm a passive person) , I guess this is the best choice I can make.

But......To think I have to face my laptops and computers everyday, whether to do my assignments or to play games, I felt very tired already. As for me, only using the computer is the best way for me to solve my boredom, but later, I felt very tired already. I know the feel of tiredness of facing laptops everyday. Even if I don't want to use my computer, the other thing I can do is...sleep =.=. I didn't try to do other things which is not my interest, and to say precisely, I don't even know what my interest is......=.=...

Anyway, for my friends who I had known in Swinburne, no matter we are in the same class before or not, I would like to Thank You All from the bottom of my heart. It's a pleasure to had known you all in Swinburne. It seems that my choice to study in Swinburne wasn't a wrong choice after all. If I had give much trouble to anyone of you, I would like to say sorry cause I always cause trouble as usual. :-P.

Anyway, all the best to the people who will sit for final examination soon. GOOD LUCK!!

Someone Had Fallen Down?

2008-01-26T17:34:00.001+08:00

Hello again, sorry for not updating my blog often. I was too busy with my assignments. That was a "hell" for me. Oh well, nevermind about it liao, since I had finished all my work except Malaysian Studies....Wakakaka...

Well, recently, I had not heard anything from my club, Swinburne Bowling Club. It seems the club had been "defeated". It's been a 2 weeks since no practice is posted up until now. Oh well, I do not know what had happened recently between those 2 weeks, so I decided to pretend don't know what happened to the club =P.

All I know what had happened to the club is, on 12/1/2008 (Saturday), there is a practice carry on, but due to the reason I don't have the car, I can't attend the practice. And one night, I went to Westwood to see my friends. Then when talking about the practice, she told me many people had stopped going to the practice. Well, I didn't expected that from the start, since normally everyone does attend the practice before. Ah....I don't care liao lar...I also no longer can go anywhere also cause no car.

For this year, all I do is as usual, sitting whole day at home alone, or go help at my shop, do nothing, then again, my laptop is my only "best friend". =.=....zzzz.......

For today, I will reopened my blog, and see how it goes. If the time hasn't reached, then I will closed it and recreate again...=P....

The Starting of 2008

2008-01-05T21:59:00.000+08:00

Sorry about it, but I recreated this blog again. So, that's mean, my old post had been deleted from my previous blog. Oh well, blogging still play an important parts in my life. So I guess I can't stop blogging for a while, haha.....

Well, how do I started my life in 2008? Well, obviously, almost everyday raining, and I quite hated it now, although I used to like it somehow before. Well, I guess I will have to start off my life in 2008 as usual, the feeling of alone and loneliness that I had at my previous time. And what's more, I had some kind of awkward feeling recently. Maybe it's because I read my friends' blog. Oh well, it's looked like not only me seems to have that kind of problem eh? Funny....

It's been a while since I'm been actively outside. Unlike my previous semester last year, I always stayed at home, do nothing, always needed to be involved in family problems. Haiz, I wish I could go out and stay away from it. And what's more, sometime they say something bad about my friends, saying me being left alone at the end. Oh well, I guess I can't deny that fact. I can't even talked back to them cause later I scare of quarreling. Oh well, I wish my life could be like my previous semester....

Now, I don't know how should I face the day in 2008. Whether should I force myself to smile o not although I am very sad? Most people can do it, but I don't think I can. And there's no longer reason for me to be happy and to smile. It's a pity that I'm am a useless person, but that's is me anyway. And that's why I don't dare simply do anything, especially when talking about going "pak toh"....

2008, do I wish anything in 2008? Actually I do have the wish. However, my wish does not always come true. :S

Anyway, here's my resolution in 2008. I'm going to spend my day happily, although it did take some time though. I wish I could be active again too, cause later, no car for me to drive any longer. And now, no more church for me to go. Owh.....

My wishes in 2008, is that, wishing all my friends happy always. I also wish my friends be healthy and can do well in their studies. And lastly, my word for a best friend of mine who will be away from Kuching soon, hope we can go out together if I had that chance. And I did hope we can meet again, somewhere, sometime......